Look What You've Done

This poem is a poem about self-harm. It is a chronological tale of self harm throughout the past year and a half.
Content warnings for alcohol, prescription drugs, loss of control, and self harm

one drink forgets work
another forgets debt
one too many forgets the world
unable to stand
unable to type
scaring those around you
walking home propped up by a friend
now look what you’ve done!
do it again next week
now look what you’ve done

pick a knife
pick a razor
start the water flowing
make sure everything’s clean
wrist and razor
a quick motion of the hand
a sudden pain
blood mixing with water
wrap the area dry
just enough bandage
cover with a watch band, nobody’ll see it
now look what you’ve done!
how do you feel?
now look what you’ve done

mental hospital
will it help?
will it hurt?
do you care?
what do you want?
help or pain
a ride to the ER
admit your thoughts
trapped in a room, under watch
stripped of clothes
stripped of freedom
pissing in a plastic container
“Nurse, come take the container away”
now look what you’ve done!
is this what you wanted?
now look what you’ve done

a pill for misery
reminds you of something
reminds you of alcohol
it takes the anxiety away
it takes the world away
yet its cost is pain
it just makes it worse
a pill too many
brings all the misery
now look what you’ve done!
it’s like being drunk again
now look what you’ve done